Dirty Jobs

by Priscilla on September 14, 2012

(originally written and posted circa sometime 2008 – Thanks to my attempts to get organized, I now cannot find my hard copy folder with all the stupid dates I had on this stuff.)

Eleanor Roosevelt, that great First Lady of the People, once said, “Great minds discuss ideas.  Average minds discuss things.  Small minds discuss people.”  She never commented on what kind of minds discussed TV shows, but this weekend found my niece, my sister-in-law and me talking about one of our favorite shows, Dirty Jobs, hosted by Mike Rowe on the Discovery Channel.  The premise of the show is that there is no job out there too filthy, too disgusting or too pungent for Mike to tackle. We took note; however, that there is one job to date Mike hasn’t attempted…Mama.

 I can see it now, Mike and the camera crew greeted at the door by a sleep deprived mother of four heading to work.  The camera catches her by surprise in the middle of changing her blouse on the way out the door thanks to a goodbye gift from her youngest. She leaves a to-do list with Mike and her four kids ages four months – 13 years.

 Good natured Mr. Rowe sets the baby in the hi-chair and heads to the kitchen sink where he discovers mounds of dirty dishes to be loaded and washed. After peeling and scraping every vegetable/meat/pasta combination off of the dishes and flatware, he starts the dishwasher. Cold oatmeal splatters against his face.  He turns to see the giggling baby. Cleaning off his face and the floor around the baby, Mike hears gurgling and whirls around to water spewing up out of the kitchen sink.  The dishwasher has backed up.  Upon further investigation, Mike discovers the two and half year old has used the machine as a diaper pail for his dirty pull up. Knowing there are older children who must have some babysitting skills, Mike sets off up the stairs but promptly trips and bottoms out on the stair landing.  Rollerblades.   Mike remains unhurt – his fall broken by  a pile of the oldest son’s grimy gym clothes discarded as he disrobed on his way up the stairs after soccer practice.

 As Mike limps back upstairs, he finds a nine year old female wailing in her bedroom/shrine to Hannah Montana, “Something’s wrong with my guinea pig!”  Mike enters the room just in time to witness a litter of seven piglets entering the world. The phone rings.  Mike answers to an excited mother-in-law announcing she’s coming today to surprise her grandkids with a new puppy; the call is interrupted by the father beeping in to leave a message for his wife – he’s bringing three colleagues from the New Delhi office home for dinner tonight.

 Turning to the camera crew, a dazed and confused Mike cuts the filming short, leaves his assistants to take care of the kids until the mother gets back from work and with relief moves on to a more realistic dirty job.

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